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Terugblik 2020 – Vooruitzicht 2021

januari 21, 2021

Wauw! Terugblikken op 2020. Het voelt alsof dit jaar vele hoofdstukken heeft gekend. In ieder geval 2 hele duidelijk. Dat is een hoofdstuk voor de Covid en een hoofdstuk terwijl de Covid crisis gaande is. Wat heeft dit voor mij gebracht? Hoe heb ik dit ervaren?

In pain there is growth

Everyone has his or her own personal experience and his or her own personal journey. For most of us this hasn’t been the easiest year. Many people had to change their lives, some people lost loved once, some lost their job, their income or had to give up on their dreams. And sometimes when you loose everything, that is where you find your true self. (I have experienced this myself a couple of times) Pain and suffer have come to the surface, but where there is pain, there is growth.

My Life turned around

In the Blog, I like to share my own personal experience and I like to start with the end of 2019. Because there is where a huge change happend to me. During my Dieta with Noya Rao I received the message to give up everything that I build. Noya Rao showed me that I have been giving so much to others. She overwhelmed me with love & gratitude for all the work that I have done.

Step by step plan

Noya Rao guided me a step by step agenda of homework that I needed to implement. I even received exact dates when to do what. This is not that common to experience and I had to take the time to test if this was in alignment with my feelings.

Letting Go

I let go of my dreams that I build with so much love & care! Letting go seems to be hard, but if it’s The Truth, it somehow goes naturally. Like in nature; In autumn the leaves change color and the trees will let go of all here leaves in the knowing that in spring she will blossom again.

Saying Goodbye to all that I build

The moment I decided to let go, was the moment I realised I needed to rest. Nothing was ever a problem, everyone was always welcome and I was always ready to give and to be at service. But from the moment I decided to stop, I felt Tired. I felt the need to take real good care of me. Every Day I was taking a bath and it was as if this was a warm hug from life and at the same time I was washing away the old to step into a future without a plan.

Tears to me Eyes

I was living my dream and enjoyed every part of it. People from all around the Globe came to my house in Vinkeveen (near Amsterdam) to do their inner work with The Mother (Ayahuasca). Nothing was too much for me and I loved having a house full of people from different background who always had a unique and beautiful connection together. Every group was special. Every Ayahuasca (and Kambo) Retreat was special. I put all my love into my work and did it with my heart & soul. While writing, I do get tears to my eyes, realising how super unique and valuable this part of my life has been.

Dare to Listen to your Inner Voice

We all have this inner voice and to me: When you dare to follow up on this inner voice, your life goes to the next level. Ayahuasca and the other plant medicine (Choco Bliss, Noya Rao, Truffles) helped me Big Time to follow up on this inner voice and Trust in life. Remember; In reality Everything is one and we we are ‘just’ part of something bigger. Trust that inner voice.


I started my year at Ibiza: celebrating New Years. It seems to be a long time ago. I had so much fun and felt so much freedom. No obligations, an empty agenda and no plans for the future other than to enjoy, to travel and to receive instead of giving so much.

No Peace

I discovered that traveling to one and another place did you give me peace. I decided to cancel some travel and instead to to Bali for a longer time. I know from experience that Bali is a place that does give me peace. Bali feels like home to me.

Bali: An empty agenda

It took me a while to slow down. Without knowing I have been running a marathon and now I was walking. The moment you slow down and your choose to walk instead running you experience more. There is where you will find peace. The moment you find peace is the moment where you find yourself and this is where you will find your passion. At Bali my passion for writing and vlogging came back.

Choco Bliss

The amazing medicine Choco Bliss came om my path at the moment I knew I would stop my ceremonies. This was around August 2019. Even while I loved the Chocolates and the people around me, I did not have the energy yet to start sharing them. I received many signs to do so.

Is this virus really that dangerous?

At the 6th of March I came back to The Netherlands. While flying home I saw many people with a mask. I was surprised about this and wondering if this Covid-virus was really so dangerous?

Living back at my parents house

I planned other journeys in March and in the meantime I would spend time at my parents house. But all these plans got canceled. Really?!? Back in The Netherlands Covid was the subject of The Day. Even my friends did not want to hug me anymore. I was not even welcome any more at their house. I was confused. Because I had a lot of time I spend a lot of time doing research. Deep research. I have a lower friend who helped me a lot to get more understanding of what was really going on.


Very soon the Lockdown came in The Netherlands. I left my parents house when I was 19, because I wanted to live in Amsterdam and no I went back at the age of 35. Every morning I was walking for more than 1 hour in nature together with my father. I saw my sisters, my nephews and nieces more than ever before. So to me this has been a valuable period.

Back to Choco Bliss

Now that I was back in The Netherlands I could do Choco Bliss Ceremonies again. In this period I still did not want to work yet, so I was doing ceremonies with friends in Hotels and Airbnb’s. I had a variety of little Holidays in my own country. Somehow this was allowed during lockdown. I had fantastic experiences and again downloads for my future.

Remembering My mission again

My Choco Bliss Ceremonies made me remember that we came here as a soul with the purpose to wake up. Everything made sense now and all felt into place. And still my mission is to spread the word of Plant Medicine in order to heal people and let them wake up in their heart & soul. We all need to remember who we are and why we are here. It’s an individual journey for every soul and is not always easy, but so valuable and transforming. The plants reassured me to go on with my mission.

The Great Awakening

You can look at the Covid crisis from many angles and perspectives. But I guess we can all agree on the fact that ‘The World will not go back to the old.’ I am afraid that it takes some years until humanity will wake up. Waking up to me means to remember who you are. From that moment on, everything will fall into place and a new World that is based on Love instead of Money will come into existence.

We have to take our Power Back

We have to take our power back as an individual. In this way we will build a World form the Inside Out. It all starts with going inside, find yourself back and follow up in your inner voice. That inner voice is connected with source and so are you. Again; Trust this voice.

Dreaming about A World Based on Love

From the moment the Covid started to appear, I spend a lot of time dreaming about a new World. I believe that the more people focus on what they want and start to dream about this ideal World, at some point it will become reality. Since the frequency of Mother Earth is raising, the only way is up. One by one we will remember who we are.

We have to take our Power Back

We have to take our power back as an individual. In this way we will build a World form the Inside Out. It all starts with going inside, find yourself back and follow up in your inner voice. That inner voice is connected with source and so are you. Again; Trust this voice.

I stared to share Choco Bliss

If there is one tool that can help you to remember it is plant medicine. It brings you back to your heart and it brings healing. Exactly what The World needs. Now I was even more certain that I had to share this with as many people as possible. Choco Bliss is the medicine of the heart. It is made by an Alchemist in a very special way. I would call it an art of nature full of wisdom and magic. Luckily the Caapi Plant (Ayahuasca) it inside the Cacao and more plants that help you to get what you need.

Living back in Amsterdam

I never expected to go back to my old house in Amsterdam. Being there made me realise that I still love my house and my city, but at the background I felt this is not where I truly wanna be.

Where do I need to be?

My Astrologist told me that during this year I would have the feeling ‘Where do I need to be?’ And this has been true. Even while I had a great time at my parents house and I got the best out of Amsterdam too. This feeling was there.. I have had the idea to move to Spain, but I changed my mind. I started to have dreams about Bali and felt like I wanted to be at Bali. Only that seemed to be impossible.

Bali kept Calling, but seems to be impossible

I checked the website of the Dutch Government serval times. Tourists were not welcome. ‘Will I ever step foot on the land of Bali again?’ I wondered.


About 6 years ago I met a guy who kept on saying ‘I am at Bali waiting for you.’ I thought I would love to go to Bali, but how?’ The moment he showed me how you could come to Bali with a Social Business visa via Jakarta, my heart opened up and I could almost get no sleep that night. I knew ‘THIS IS IT! BALI!’

Dreams do come true

‘When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.’ From the moment I made the decision to go to Bali, everything went by itself. I traveled together with my friend Yavanna and it was great to share the pleasure of our Bali dream.

Smooth journey

We started our journey together in Ubud, but very soon I felt I wanted to move to Canggu. Ubud is too quiet for me at the moment. Canggu is radiation life. That gives me so much energy, inspiration and aliveness.

Better than I could dream

I was never excepted it, but I found the perfect house, at the perfect place at the first Day I arrived at Canggu. Being here is better than I could dream. I even felt like ‘Maybe I need to share something negative on my Instagram stories, but in my World it doesn’t really exist.’ Crazy right? I have beautiful dreams at night that are supporting me to fully live and enjoy what is right now.

Love to contribute

I hope you can do the same and if you can’t, I would love to help where I can with my plant medicine, my video’s, blogs and via Instagram to send you love, inspiration, support and help that inspired you to live the life you dream of. Because one thing that I earned this year is that I feel incomplete when I don’t contribute in other ones growth.


This year has been giving me exactly what I needed. It has been giving me a new purpose and I feel like I have everything that it takes to go on. This year let me be closer to my family even while I am at Bali at the moment, I feel their support and that makes me stronger.

Next Year 2021

I have the feeling that the first part of 2021 will not be easier in terms of the Covid Crisis. I expect more things have to be destroyed before the new will come into existence. I guess there are 2 roads to choose. The road that brings you further from the Truth (head). Or the road that let you come home to yourself. This is the journey from the heart and soul.

Goals 2021

In 2021 will to focus on what I started. My number one dream is to finish and publish my book in 2021. The other things are of course Choco Bliss and Micro Dosing. Like many others, I felt in love with Choco Bliss. Traditions and Ceremonies are passed on from generation to generation and part of my mission is to bring back ritual into everyones reality who feels the calling. I know not everyone dares to go on an inner journey with the plants, but they do feel curious. This is why I will focus on Micro Dosing more in 2021. At the moment Micro Dosing Truffels is very very populair, because you can’t have no result if you micro dose for 1 month.

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